Famous Last Bitchings? Hell no bitch.

Vocabulary?

2009-01-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

A bitch has to have their top 5 words to cuss and here is a breakdown of the necessary words to use in a sentence or as a comeback!

Word #5

Skank

Used in a sentence,
" You're such a myspce whore "
" You skank, at least I've got real boobs "

Note: Please do not use this phrase if you ACTUALLY are a myspace whore, you're contradicting yourself hence you render yourself an Epic Fail.

Word #4

Douche Bag

Used in a sentence,
"Hey, aren't you the girl that faked an orgasm during P.E.?"
"Why the hell would I do that? Douche Bag."

Attention! You can also use a synonym of this word, Douche Baggable.

Word #3
Whore

Used in a sentence,
"You whore" "You whore" "You whore" "You whore" "You whore"

Tip, if used for at least 5 times followed by a dramatic squeal and then a hair flip, it adds a nice touch to public humiliation.

Word #2

Whatever!

Used in a sentence,
"You're such a slut"
"WHATEVER!"
"You're pretty..."
"Thanks!"
"...dumb"
"WHATEVER!"

"You're left boob is showing"
"WHATEVER"

"THERE'S A BUS COMING TOWARDS YOU"
"Whatev- *Smash*"

Warning, Please do look left, right and then left again before you use that word.

Word #1

BITCH
"I slept with your boyfriend"
"BITCH"
"Look who's talking"
"BITCH!"
"Okay, quit calling me bitch"
"BITCH!!"
"You're the bitch!"
"BITCH!!!"
"I'm not the one who has herpe-"
"DIE BITCH!!!"

Rememeber, when it comes close to the 5th time you're using that word, opt for drastic measures. A pocket knife comes in handy.

10 Unwritten Rules About Being A Good Bitch

2008-12-04T16:48:00.000-08:00

Rules mean nothing to a class A "Bitch". They're in a class of their own and consume and destroy whoever you are, even family members and "pack members"

A bitch that as all the respect she can give to herself ( Since she can't garner a single teaspoon of respect from other people ) will obey all the laws of Bitch World. It is their bible. However, there are 10 unwritten rules that only can be revealed a person who has achieved "Bitch!You're a true BITCH" rank.

1. Destroy every PDA (Public Display of Affection) you see.

2. Think of a way to black mail a person of the opposite sex into doing what you want.

3. Talk loud enough (Along with wild gestures if you've had a drink or two) for the person that's being ridiculed to notice.

4. No matter how old you are, NEVER LET ANYONE TOUCH YOUR FOOD. Not even your husband.

5. Fight for something that means nothing to you.

6. When in doubt, do whatever you can to be intimidating.

7. Make your presence known, no matter where you are.

8. Don't have cash? Use your bitchy ways to get what you want. Forget the ATM.

9. Break friendships up by sleeping with someone.

10. Run away as soon as you have enough money.

Xoxo

What's worse than a bitch?

2008-12-03T04:54:00.000-08:00

Think, think, think.
What can be worse than a bitch?

Let's see . The options are:

(a) A fruit

(b) A giraffe

(c) A wannabe bitch.

Yes, the answer is pretty obvious well unless you have an IQ of a turnip.

All bitches go through this transition.

1. Normal sweet person.
2. Wannabe bitch.
3. Bitch.
4. Super Bitch.

AND YES, A WANNABE BITCH IS DEFINITELY MORE ANNOYING THAN A REGULAR BITCH, BUT NOT AS ANNOYING AS A SUPER BITCH.

OMGBITCH IS TALKING CRAP.
"Someone pass me a diet pill... NOW!"

I shall now educate all you imbeciles about the 4 types of people stated above.

1. Normal sweet person.
This normal sweet person is usually very naive; does not swear and is usually very very into religion. Studies hard. Typical goody two shoes and every parents' dream child. Does not argue or talk back too often or demand too much. Well in more simple words, its like a cute little cow with a string tied on to its bell? and gets pulled around. And well it follows very properly.

2. The wannabe bitch.
The wannabe bitch is ANNOYING. She will usually self-proclaim that she's a bitch. Oh yes, the swearing comes in. And not to forget the wardrobe screw ups; the horrible bitch wannable slang/accent!You see, the wannabe bitch will be like a lost cow looking here and there for skimpy/ugly/pretty/trendy clothes and well cows aren't allowed in good shopping malls. (OMGBITCH HAS A THING WITH COWS, BARE WITH IT!) So yeah you get it; wannabe bitches look like... umm. COWS! Ooooh and the wannabe bitch is like a cow with a nose ring plus a string ties on to it for their parents to pull.

3. The bitch.
The bitch is awesome and bitchy. She knows what she's doing all the time has a mouth sharper than a dagger, and is always in control. The little lost cow has broke out from the nose ring and has found her way to the mall.*yay* Everyone loves her and hates her. Well basically she's an angel if you're on her good side and worst that the darkest demons if you're on her bad side so scooch on to her good side; immediately.

4. The super bitch.
You'll hate her when you get to know her. SHE BRAGS SO MUCH SHE HAS TO TAKE LIKE 98 BOTTLES OF SORE THROAT MEDICINE DAILY. She shows too much skin. Well she's mostly evil and caniving. Guys stay away, girls kill her! But she does look good. You can't have everything.

And now you know.

A sequel to - "You know you're a bitch if you"

2008-11-30T22:59:00.001-08:00

How to be a bitch? simple

1. The world revolves around you, you AND YOU!
(that's like the golden rule.)

2. Fill your 8G memory card with kinky pictures of yourself and pretend that you don't know you're hot.

3. Brag about how fabulous your life is, even though its not. Exaggerate!

4. Flirt with like every single guy you see. (even if you have a boyfriend)

5. Buy expensive overrated bags and clothes and BRAG about it.

6. Go over the top on just about everything.

7. Write bitchy hate post about someone else when you're just as bad as the person you are writing about.

8. Wear everything so short that it looks cheap.

9. Wear everything air tight.

10. Do plastic surgery. This is a MUST.

And now you know.
So umm. LIKE RUN GO BE A BITCH.

You know you're a bitch if you...

2008-11-30T21:40:00.001-08:00

You know you're a bitch if you...

1. Stare at another bitch for more than 5 seconds.

2. Constantly think of ways to sabotage someone.

3. Manipulate someone with a smile on your face.

4. Spread gossip about someone you hate.

5. Have a posse of people at your disposal to sacrifice at all costs to get even with someone.

6. Change boyfriends/girlfriends for the fun of it.

7. Do a strut past someone you hate.

8. Have a raised eyebrow like you had too much botox.

9. Wear bright red lipstick and pout the hell out of it.

10. If you're really 'bad' at keeping secrets.

Ultimately, you're a 100% bitch if you've seen Mean Girls over and over to learn the insults by heart.

By the way, isn't it ironic how this bitch sent be this message on MSN

!Dane! im happy face says:
thats the gayest sub name gossip girls cool and everything but dont display that publicaly im not being mean

Look out Dane, watch your back because you'll make a grand entrance into this blog soon enough. Just you wait.

XoXo.

Overrated.

2008-11-29T05:12:00.000-08:00

"What's overrated these days ?"
"EVERYTHING!"

From like food to like drinks, clothes, bags, eye wear, shoes..etc...

Damn and kids these days are like amazing!
I agree kids/teens deserve to splurge a little sometimes, teens have like study pressure bla blaaa blaa... retail therapy works of course but kids/teens these days are like being too much.

Kids/teens these days get like overpriced phones, shirts, dresses, EVERYTHING.
And where does the money come from? PARENTS!
Yes I'm jealous!

Everything has its limit.

RM 70 for a shirt is too much.
RM 50 is actually too much if you ask me.
RM 200 and above for a dress/bag is too much.
RM 100 actually.

Its all just cloth and plastic that looks good.. too good!
Ah well...

Kids these days are carrying and wearing overpriced stuff. Its like someone vomited overpriced stuff all over them. Ewwww!

"Dude if you earned the money, you definitely deserve it but if you don't, please paste like a HUGE Post-it NOTE ON YOUR FORE HEAD TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING YOUR PARENTS' MONEY?"

HAHAHHAHAAA!

I have the solution for you to be thrifty!

1. For clothes shop at F.O.S.
Its like branded stuff always discounted year round. (GAP, PAUL FRANK, etc etc)

2. Eat at food courts/hawker stalls.

3. Borrow books from like places like SS readers. (yes it really exists)

4. Be chinese or rather cina. (that my friends is the golden rule!)

That way all is well.
:)

2008-11-25T13:13:00.001-08:00

Testing! :)